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Shallon Lester: Girls. If you want to surprise your man. Like sneak up on him and give him a smooch out of the blue, there’s a good way to do it and there’s a wrong way to do it. The wrong way to do it is like tongue in mouth, tongue in ear. Like, this isn’t a Law and Order SVU moment.
So I’ll show you how to do it so that he likes it and gets just a little bit excited.
Michael Blaustein: Same side as the football team. I’m good. So when you’re trying to surprise your girl you always go neck kiss first. And this is why.
Shallon: So then I was like, watermelons are not grown with stripes on. You are not even listening to what I’m saying, are you? No. You’re just thinking about like hooking up because that’s all you think about. That and Xbox. Halo, World of Warcraft, sex. That’s all.
Michael: Nah. I just wanted to kiss you.
Shallon: Guys, if you kiss a girl when she’s in the middle of a sentence, you might think it’s super romantic and amazing but she might think that it means you don’t really care what she’s saying. Granted, chances are this is true. But you don’t want a woman to know this. So when you want a sneak attack kiss, give it to her on the neck. Okay? Like so.
Shallon: Jon Bon Jovi is like 89 years old. No! It was totally on his Wikipedia page. He’s like beef jerky. Then I, I gotta call you back. Hi.
Michael: Hey. I think Bon Jovi’s like 112 I think.
Shallon: My gosh, I so knew that. You’re so..
Michael: Yeah. All I..
Shallon: So guys, if you’re talking to your girl and you really want to kiss her but you don’t want to make her think you’re not listening to her story, which you’re probably not, that’s fine. Say one little thing that ties in her topic and then go for the neck and work your way up. By the time you get from here to there, she’s gonna be putty in your hands.
So Julie said that the Wooten clan like invented killer bees and I’m like no. JZ and Cisco invented killer bees. I mean, who doesn’t even know that?
Michael: JZ and Cisco?
Michael: Killer bees, you say?
Shallon: Yeah. They’re like stingy and yellow.
Michael: I wanna sting you, kinda.