About to have your first kiss? Want to know how to be a really great kisser without experience? Don’t make out before you watch this video!
Hey son! Your mom said you had a problem and she didn’t think I was good enough to handle it. What’s going on?
(Sigh) Dad, I just wanted to know how to be a good kisser. I’ve never kissed a girl, but I heard some making fun of a kid in class because he was a bad kisser. Then they teased about kissing me to find out if I was too. I’m terrified that they will and then I’ll get made fun of too.
Oh yea? And your mom said I couldn’t handle it?
She said you probably didn’t have much experience growing up.
She did huh? Okay, well let’s fix this problem first then we will deal with your mom. What do you know about kissing so far?
Really, nothing. I know Sally said to pucker like you’re eating something sour, and you aren’t supposed to look at them. But if my eyes are closed, how do I know where their face is?
(chuckles) Well, that’s the easy part. Always remember that you go in for a kiss and stop, then just wait for her to come to you. This way, you aren’t pressuring her to kiss you and she has to be the one to find your face.
So if you hit faces it’s her fault!
Okay, but how do you breathe while you are kissing?
Well, that’s what you have a nose for.
What if I have a cold and it’s stuffy.
Well, then you probably shouldn’t be spreading that cold by kissing girls.
What if I just get ambushed and a girl kisses me without warning?
If that happens son, then you are definitely doing something right.
(Father notices Mother hiding by the doorway)
What else should I know?
Something I learned a long time ago that really seemed to have an effect was chewing gum.
Chewing gum makes you a better kisser?
Not necessarily, but I always used it to chew the same gum when I kissed this girl I really liked. She always used to tell me that any time she smelled that gum, she thought of kissing me.
Ohhh. That makes sense. Keep them wanting more!
Haha. That’s my boy. Now don’t worry. You’ll be just fine.
(Father walks out of room)
Not much experience growing up huh?
(Pulls out a piece of gum. Smiles and puckers.)
Find my face babe.